w * i * z * z * a * r * t

Wed, 27 Sep 2006 01:48:12 GMT

i'm pretty sure i can excuse myself in one word.

university.

i am fully aware of the fact that film hit theatres, oh, a decade ago, but wizzart marches to the beat of its own drum.

basically i have been meaning to do a MOTHERFUCKINGSNAKESONAPLANE wizzart for months but uh, did not.

OOTP harry is evidently going about this whole broody teenager stage ass backwards.

2000!

Wed, 16 Aug 2006 12:11:08 GMT

welcome new wizzards!

now boys, remember, that whole "you'll go blind if you do it too much" was a misquote. you'll be fine, but your horse? your horse won't be so lucky.

that's the whole basis of the play Equus, right?

what would hermione see in the mirror of erised?

Fri, 04 Aug 2006 02:54:07 GMT

"...but I think that Hermione would also see herself closely entwined with...another...person..."

as for those that expressed an interest in seeing my new tattoo, feel free to friend inviere (briefly or long-term, I don't mind), as the photos are behind this locked entry. if you want to make things easy for both of us, comment here once you've friended the account. thank you!

lift it! lift it like it were a lady's skirt!

Sun, 30 Jul 2006 18:50:23 GMT

i tried, i really did, but a wizzart covering not only the swashbuckling, but the jar of di-iiirt, simply wasn't possible. it would take weeks.

with that said, i did start on a few characters as their POTC counterparts, and to compensate, i will post those later on in the week. until then, though, my decision was made. locked_door998 is our victor. congratulations, now here's your wizzart

seriously. ron & hermione is going to happen one way or another.

just accept it.

where's the monkey, i want to shoot something

Sun, 16 Jul 2006 17:58:52 GMT

i know, i know, i am a horrible, horrible person.

i have an excuse, though! a valid one. i was in europe for nearly the entire duration of june. i couldn't update wizzart while gallivanting around hogwarts, could i?

i meant to post before i left, explaining my little hiatus, but i kind of left packing to the last minute and realised literally five minutes before leaving for the airport i had failed to pack socks. anyhow, here i am, grovelling, on my circular hands and knees begging for your forgiveness. in an attempt to make amends, i thought to get back into the wizzart swing of things, we'd kick off july with a little summer blockbuster fun of the swashbuckling sort.

i daresay we've all seen the POTC sequel (if not, what in davey jones' name are you doing here?), so reply with your favourite scenes, and i will choose one (perhaps two) to wizzart. i'll pick the top ten and set up a poll, so you lot can vote and make the final decision.

so? what are you waiting f'arr. get votin', ya filthy scalawags!

secretly, spiderman ships h/hr

Mon, 24 Apr 2006 21:15:06 GMT

i am currently in the process of revamping a few of the earlier wizzarts.

and i was all like - aaargh!

but that doesn't mean i'm not working on

wizzart is the new mary-kate and ashley

Wed, 19 Apr 2006 18:45:35 GMT

okay, wizzards!

the amazing kittysun (the mastermind behind plushrooms & kittysun) & re-touched, re-vamped and refurbished the trio & fetus voldemort, and helped me create a plethora of wizzart merchandise.

as of now, i am only charging a dollar or two above the set price. the website requires their merchants to add a commission to every product before the items will be approved to sell, but the prices are still very reasonable! there are mousepads and coffee mugs for only $10.00, and most of the tops are still below $20.00.

please note: dudley's socks are not available in the store.

if there are any specific characters or phrases you would like on a top, don't be afraid to ask. it may take a week or so to customize, but i will be happy to do it.

thank you for your support.

more information?

♥

wizzards get lonely too

Tue, 18 Apr 2006 20:02:30 GMT

this morning, my good friend dawniky and i were flipping through the daily prophet, when we happened upon some rather interesting

exciting wizzart news coming up, keep checking back!

too much?

Mon, 10 Apr 2006 02:36:56 GMT

i apologize ahead of time.

meanwhile...

Tue, 14 Mar 2006 00:45:11 GMT

okay i paid the $25.00

it works now.

crinkle crinkle

Mon, 13 Mar 2006 23:28:52 GMT

finding wizzart artwork i have forgotten about is like finding money in the pocket of a jacket i haven't worn in a long time.

except i can't buy anything with wizzart art...

the peter pettigrew of fandom.

okay, you know when you go to a person's house, and they have a dog? and the dog likes to hump stuff? that's always how i've envisioned kreacher. you'd hear a sound similar to a plastic bag being crinkled up, and you'd know he was at it again. you know, 'cause he wears a diaper.

.:: weasley is our king ::.

Thu, 02 Mar 2006 04:46:00 GMT

happy birthday, ron weasley!

♥

i am currently working on an actual update i swear on fetus voldemort.

what

Sat, 21 Jan 2006 05:57:59 GMT

P.S.

yeah. i know. it's browne.

.:: ho ho - who you callin' a ho?! ::.

Sun, 25 Dec 2005 05:05:42 GMT

oh man, sorry i haven't updated in so long.

i was in prison, though. yeah, the F.B.I. found out about the christmas cards. thanks a lot, maracela. they kicked down my door and dragged me out, kicking and screaming. man, it was pretty horrible. i made some pretty awesome new friends, though, and while being shanked kind of sucked, i'm totally digging the "mom" tattoo i received with a needle made out of a sharpened bic pen.

...so i lied.

i've actually been busy, you know, shopping, and wrapping, and sending out my christmas cards. yeah, i said it! sticking it to the man!

i'd like to take a moment to thank everyone that did opt to purchase a wizzart christmas card. your feedback has been greatly appreciated. ♥ the money i made has been donated to the SPCA, though most of it wound up going towards shipping costs (and that was just the first batch). the money left over was added to the monthly donation my mum and i already make to the SPCA (the toronto humane society, to be exact), though there wasn't much.

i'd like to remind everyone that even if you did not have the funds to purchase a card, you were, and still are, more than welcome to print off your own. it is truly beyond me why some people reacted so negatively when i was honestly trying to do something, you know, nice...for once.

this is why i'm not nice. this is why most of my wizzart art is so bitter. because i hate the world.

well, except you. and you.

but honestly, i'm so glad you all liked your cards ♥ i'm glad i wasn't someone's bitch for nothing!

speaking of bitches, it's jesus' birthday tomorrow - worst.segway.ever.

and we all know what that means.

~~church!~~

wait - what?!

presents!

while i'm certain you're an appreciative bunch, there's a certain orphan who has a bone to pick with a certain fat man in a red suit.

i know you're probably wondering why i am writing you one day after christmas, but after opening my presents yesterday, i felt compelled to say something.

santa, i was a very good orphan all year. i listened to the nuns when they asked me to scrub the staircase with my toothbrush, and i didn't even allow myself to enjoy it when they spanked me with a paddle. i helped out with chores around the orphanage, and even took the initiative to drown the annoying cat that belonged to the cross-eyed girl down the hall. you know the one. no one will adopt her - seriously, nick, she has to be about fifteen now.

with that said, when i sat down to pen my christmas list, the least i was expecting was a spinning top. sure - world domination and the ability to grow facial hair were a bit much - but a spinning top? a rocking horse? mittens and a matching top hat?

how the fuck - after reading my list would you deem it appropriate to leave beneath the tree a shitty light up yo-yo - a mother-cunt plastic tea set and a fucking no-name dolly that looks like she has fucking polio. either you're blind or you can't read. every single year i say i am going to stop believing in your fat arse, and like a fool i always give you another chance - but not again! no sir! the lack of a spinning top is the final straw! you hear me, old man? you're dead.

i will fuck you up.

i mean, honestly, the gall! giving that little cock-eyed sally from across the hall everything she asks for. she had best sleep with one eye open - because bitch is going to be smothered by her new pillow.

you've crossed the wrong orphan, santa, you'll see - you and them fucking reindeer better think twice before landing on the roof of this here orphanage! especially that fucking rudolph.

have a merry christmas, you fat fuck.

p.s.

i hope you die.

p.s.

slowly.

p.s.

notice that this entire letter was written with charcoal. why? because i didn't receive a single fucking crayon. that's why. ho ho ho yourself - asshole.

sincerely yours,

thomas riddle.

happy holidays, wizzards!!!

.:: goblet of fiya ::.

Fri, 18 Nov 2005 06:11:46 GMT

so i'm totally going to copy miinty_sticks and ask all of the people who live in toronto, when and where are you going to see GOF?

edit!:

don't talk about it in comments if you've already seen it. i don't want to know if it was good or bad. funny or sad. i want to see it for myself.

.:: 1977 was a very good year ::.

Fri, 18 Nov 2005 04:02:03 GMT

i love how every time i get "wanked" i make new friends.

welcome, new wizzards!

i love how they actually took this seriously:

"so i called her a h/hr shipper (ROFLBUUURN!)"

now, i thought that the - ROFLBUUURN - made it kind of apparent that i was, you know, not serious, but again, we're dealing with h/hr shippers here. their ability to interpret text is kind of...nonexistent. look, i'll break it down for you guys, kindergarten style: nothing on wizzart should be taken seriously. ever. i take "arguments" on the internet about as seriously as i take my "art". i don't know why people can't seem to comprehend that.

now i'll put that in terms that h/hr shippers will understand:

the moon eclipses the chickens over the unicorn's flambe. the dove cries - the erinyes, they come! - and flies into a window made of chocolate. ants cover all with drawings of atlantis, and the jabberwock's head plays the violin. when hippogriffs weep their tears turn to ashes.

yeah! i said it!

now, onto more relevant things. because, unlike some (here's looking at you, wankers!), we have better things to do - OOOBUUURN!

(i didn't feel like drawing a rat - so eat me)

(total typo. i meant to put - BLAST - but i somehow managed to type - BLAAR - instead. after some consideration i opted to keep it. it struck me as something voldemort might say in a fit of rage.)

r.i.p. iharthdarth.

♥

enjoy GOF tomorrow!!!

pee.ess.

props to whoever noticed animagus peter's missing finger.

.:: harry POTHEAD - rofl! see what i did there? ::.

Mon, 07 Nov 2005 07:36:40 GMT

now, is it just me...

or does robert pattinson seem to be consistently stoned out of his mind?

seriously. have you guys seen his interviews? i've watched three now, and i honestly don't think he has ever truly answered a question.

he's on the dope.

don't get me wrong. i do ♥ him. so i'm not sayin'...i'm just sayin'.

.:: and a nice warm cup of - STFU ::.

Sun, 06 Nov 2005 22:33:53 GMT

'tis the season to be ~~a heinous bitch~~ merry!

i have been arguing with people all day.

why?

well, maracela is a HP fan-artist as well.

she has an issue with other "artists", like miinty_sticks and i, who actually receive the occasional donation.

so she commented.

painful, i know. it's like watching a hufflepuff trying to be...mean.

so i called her a h/hr shipper (ROFLBUUURN!) and it could have ended there, but, instead of accepting the fact she'd just been pwned, she sent over her friends (all three of them). i wasn't even going to post this, but it's too funny not to share. i couldn't make this shit up.

A - LOT.

group suicide? how's tuesday, everyone?

SHIT, SON! SOMEONE CALL THE FBI!

but waaai?!

so, i guess i won't be updating for awhile. yeah, apparently i'm headed off to the slammer.

butch lady #1: so what are you all in here for?

butch lady #2: assault with a deadly weapon.

butch lady #3: grand theft auto.

butch lady #4: murder.

me: wizzart.

pee.ess.

sure, if someone's gonna come over here and be a jerk, they're fair game, but don't go to anyone's personal journal and harass them. that is not on. sinking to their level is not cool, ma babies. if you feel compelled to say something - go for it, but do it here. their journals are their journals, and, unlike some, i can respect that.

IF YOU HARASS - YOU'RE AN ASS!

i just made that up myself :)

.:: christmas cards ::.

Sun, 06 Nov 2005 01:31:53 GMT

option #1:

the trio. $6.00

option #2:

harry potter. $5.00

option #3:

ron weasley. $5.00

option #4:

sirius black. $5.00

option #5:

professor snape. $5.00

option #6:

werewolf lupin. $5.00

option #7:

draco malfoy. $5.00

option #8:

fetus voldemort. $5.00

option #9:

kreacher. $4.00

option #10:

naughty harry. $4.00

option #11:

naughty ron. $4.00

before anyone asks:

yes. draco is wearing a mistletoe belt.

i accept everything from paypal - money sent to me in an envelope. and by money sent to me in an envelope, i mean literally, a five dollar bill in an envelope - you don't need paypal or a credit card you just need a piggy-bank.

you have until the 30th of november to place your order. & if you order three or more cards, you get a discount.

to place your order, send me an e-mail at:

owl_wizzart@yahoo.ca

make sure to include "christmas card" somewhere in the subject.

and please, please understand that i am making no profit whatsoever by doing this. if coloured ink was free, and shipping costs were nonexistent, i would send each and every one of you a card, free of charge. unfortunately, that simply isn't possible. if you truly cannot afford the costs, feel free to save and print any of these pictures. be creative! make your own cards! everyone deserves a merry wizzart christmas.

special requests:

all cards will come to you hand-signed by your favourite character.

unless it is requested otherwise, the inside of the card will be blank (besides the signature and holiday greeting, of course). if you do wish for the character to write you or the recipient a "special note", however, it will cost $1.00 more, and i'll need some idea of what you'd like the note to say. please - nothing too risque. keep in mind, harry and ron are only sixteen.

if you had your heart set on a specific character who did not make the default card selection, feel free to send me an e-mail and we'll work something out.

& if you don't celebrate christmas, keep in mind that the word "christmas" can easily be changed.

information required:

if you do intend on ordering a card, please include the following information within your e-mail:

your name/name of recipient:

&

complete address:

if you are purchasing a card for a friend, i can send the card to you, and you can give it to them personally - or - you can give me their address, and i can send the card directly to them. just make absolute certain that i know who the card is for, so that the greeting within reads the correct name.

...and i think that's it.

if you have any questions, feel free to comment, and i will get back to you A.S.A.P.

you have until the 30th! starting...

now.

♥

.:: inquiry! ::.

Sun, 30 Oct 2005 20:43:56 GMT

so christmas is coming up (seriously, it will creep up and bite you in the ass if you're not careful), and i'm trying to be super organized this year. at the suggestion of a few people, i was thinking about sending out some wizzart christmas cards. they would probably cost about $4.00 - $6.00, depending on the character (it takes more ink to print ron than fetus voldemort, for example). what you would get would be card from your favourite wizzart character. each character would come with a separate greeting inside, and they would all be signed by hand.

so, just out of curiosity, how many people would be interested? i won't bother purchasing the supplies if it's only like, three people, lol. with that said, i do get a lot of e-mails asking about the payments, and, honestly, i'm not picky. you can use paypal - you can put the money in an envelope and send it to me - whatever best suits you.

just make sure you actually pay me. or else i'm sending kreacher over to urinate on your pillow.

you think it's an empty threat?

try me.

edit!

just so there's no misunderstanding, it will be $4.00 - $6.00 a card.

i pay for shipping.

you don't.

i don't know how many of you mail things on a regular basis, but my best friend lives in england, and shipping ain't free ma babies. also, if you buy a card at, say, hallmark, it costs nearly four bucks. this is honestly just me trying to do something nice for christmas. i won't be making a profit from these cards. the cost is to cover the shipping costs, the stamps, the envelopes, the card paper (i'm not using computer paper), and, most importantly, the ink. coloured ink isn't exactly cheap.

and do keep in mind, you could always send one as a gift. who wants a play-station when you could instead receive a personalized card from ron weasley?

.:: bad bad baddy bad bad ::.

Sun, 30 Oct 2005 20:39:43 GMT

a few months later...

oh, & tonks is wearing an ashlee simpson t-shirt because, for some reason, certain artists seem to be under the impression that just because tonks once wore a "weird sisters" t-shirt, all of her clothing must also have some sort of band on the front.

...i just wanted to be accurate. i mean, "the weird sistrs" are a fictional band, and so's ashlee simpson.

thank you so much to everybody who has donated money/purchased commissions. i truly do appreciate your support...and so does photobucket!

in other, more exciting wizzart news, i'm getting my first wizzart keychain made up next week! i will make sure to post some pictures sometime within the next couple of months, and try to figure out how much they will wind up costing. 'cause right now...i dunno. i just know that getting one made up is fairly pricey. i'm hoping it will cost less if i get a bunch made in bulk.

anyway, enough with the talking.

harry shoving his tongue down ginny's throat.

so what's your point?

have a safe & happy halloween, wizzards!

edit!

i don't like tonks.

at all.

i prefer her when she's manic depressive.

yeah, i said it! what? what?

.:: halloween special ::.

Sun, 16 Oct 2005 20:03:21 GMT

halloween update:

since halloween is coming up (and it's my favourite holiday), i thought i'd have a wizzart halloween special.

from now until october 31st, any commissions will receive $2.00 off the original price.

if you're interested, send an e-mail to:

owl_wizzart@yahoo.ca

and i will get back to you a.s.a.p.

edit:

paypal is preferable, but $5.00 in an envelope will work too.

.:: where's my mother@#!$%^& nightlight? ::.

Fri, 14 Oct 2005 04:20:11 GMT

happy birthday reila!!!

kreacher made you a cake.

...don't eat it, though.

& i promise a wizzart update very soon.

♥

.:: Donations ::.

Sat, 03 Sep 2005 03:50:35 GMT

American Wizzards: Donate Now to the American Red Cross at Coinstar Machines.

Your spare change truly makes a difference.

By bringing your spare change to the grocery store, you can help the American Red Cross bring relief to disaster victims in your area and across the country.

Approximately 130 million Americans live within 2 miles of a Coinstar machine. If even half of those American donated just $1.00 in spare change to the Red Cross, it would raise more than $65 million to support American Red Cross lifesaving services in communities nationwide.

Find the Coinstar machine nearest you. (Please note that some Coinstar machines are not yet equipped with the donation option. To confirm that your grocery store can accept donations to the American Red Cross, please call 1-800-928-CASH.)

How Can $1.00 Make a Difference?

66 pennies: Allows us to give a child any one of 11 "after the disaster" coloring books and a box of crayons.

$1: Buys one family expert safety information.

$3: Buys a comfort kit with toiletries for one disaster victim.

$6: Buys one blanket for a disaster shelter.

Quarters: Add up to dollars and $ 30 buys a pair of shoes for a disaster victim.

Dimes: Add up to dollars $ 65 buys a winter coat for a disaster victim.

$10: Buys one day of groceries for a family affected by a disaster.

$20: Buys a home clean-up kit for a family affected by a disaster.

The list goes on and on. Please, donate anything that you can afford, even if it is only a dollar.

Other organizations that are currently taking donations are:

Storm Aid

Red Cross

FEMA

The Salvation Army

Feed the Children

Network for Good

NSAL America (North Shore Animal League)

&

The Humane Society

Any money that I have made in the past few months in regards to wizzart has been donated.

Please help, even if you can only afford to send a dollar or two.

1) Donate Blood.

2) Talk to your neighbors over the next few days, take all of the things that you don't want and hold a large garage sale and send all the money to one of the organizations. This can raise hundreds of dollars in just one afternoon. If there are items left just donate them to goodwill or go pass them out yourself.

3) Contact a local church, temple, mosque, community center, community college, university and ask if they would allow you to use one of their rooms (for free) to hold a benefit show. Get together with a few local bands and throw a giant benefit show, make it fun and positive. To save money when you make fliers ask your local copier (Staples, Officemax) to donate copies of the fliers, they will either give you a discount or donate some of the supplies. Charge a $5-10 sliding scale donation (don't turn anyone away due to lack of funds) - make sure that you turn 100% of the money raised to an organization that you respect - on the fliers you can even add that people can drop off clean clothes/food at the show. Take those goods and redistribute it within your own community. You can raise more money by contacting local businesses and getting them to donate certain items - raffle them off at the concert.

4) If you are an artist/craft maker, get together with similar artisans, have a craft weekend or night - make a bunch of stuff and sell your items the next day/weekend, donate all proceeds

5) Get together with friends and have a car wash, a bake sale, etc. Be sure to have another donation jar available for people to donate

6) Contact your local aid organization and ask how you can help. Some will need help packaging items and putting together aid kits. The more people that volunteer the more direct aid money can go into specific projects.

7) E-mail friends with the list of places that they are able to donate.

8) Hold a documentary/movie night at a local church, community center, college/university student lounge, etc. Set a sliding scale of $5.00 (don't turn anyone away due to lack of funds) and give all donations to an organization of your choice.

If you have a place for people to stay, sign up here: http://www.hurricanehousing.org

Thank you ♥

.:: holy webcomics, batman ::.

Mon, 01 Aug 2005 02:03:50 GMT

just a note to the plethora of new web comics out there -

don't ask me to affiliate if you're going to steal my jokes

i'm not trying to be bitchy (...i don't have to try, i am, admittedly, a bit of a bitch), but seriously. every day a new web comic pops up, and that's fine, that's great, be creative and go crazy, but i do check everyone out before i affiliate. if you're going to steal jokes from wizzart - don't ask me to affiliate. i mean, i have over 1000 people on my flist now. people tell me when you steal shit.

you know, i think i have my affiliate quota for the moment. i don't have the time to affiliate a new HP comic every day, sorry.

someone make up a damn lord of the rings comic.

seriously, though. steal from wizzart, and fetus voldemort will fuck your shit up.